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How to milk a cow?
The udder is typically somewhere underneath the cow, clinging to its undercarriage like a juicy pink balloon. Once you've located the udder, locate the teats, or "fun buttons," pink finger-like protrusions. As unattractive as it seems, these are where the milk you drink comes from. This explains why most people leave cow-milking to machines or, in worst-case scenarios, extremely lonely farmers.
A cow's udder can hold up to 40 litres of milk, so make yourself comfortable. Aim the milk for a metal pail that will both hold it and make a satisfying milk-catching noise4. cf www.jakechristie.blogspot.com/